


Dave: Be a Good Strider

by DemiboyMituna



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Past Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-01
Updated: 2014-09-01
Packaged: 2018-02-15 15:24:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2233977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DemiboyMituna/pseuds/DemiboyMituna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The game has ended and Dave is avoiding Dirk. Dirk is determined to find out why. TW: mentions of past physical/emotional abuse.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dave: Be a Good Strider

The game was over. It had been for months. Everyone who had survived was living in a large house, secluded from the rest of the world. Things were slowly getting back to normal. At least, as normal as they could be. 

Dave had been avoiding Dirk since the end of the game. It was subtle, but Dirk noticed it. How Dave seemed to exit the room just as he entered it. How their conversations never lasted more than a few minutes. He didn’t understand why, but he was determined to find out.

Dave was sitting at his desk with his laptop, mumbling rhymes under his breath. He looked up as the door opened and saw Dirk sillhouetted in the doorway. His back straightened up and he took off his headphones. 

“You’ve been avoiding me,” said Dirk. Dave’s eyes grew wide under the shades.

“What do you mean?” Dave’s voice was thick with fear. 

“You never want to be in the same room as me, you never talk to me. What did I ever do to you?” Dave stiffened and his breaths came in short gasps. “Dude are you okay?” Dirk asked.

“Get Rose,” was all Dave said. Dirk exited the room, walking as quickly as he could with out running. He turned down another hallway and practically ran right into Kanaya. 

“Oh, hello Dirk,” she said.

“Have you seen Rose?”

“I believe she is in the lounge. Why do you ask?”

“I need to talk to her.” With that, Dirk was off, leaving a puzzled Kanaya in his wake. Within minutes he was at the lounge. Inside Jade was talking animatedly, telling Rose and John a story.

“Sorry to interrupt, but I need to borrow Rose,” Dirk said.

“What’s wrong?” Rose asked.

“Somethings up with Dave, he’s freaking out.” Rose’s face grew solemn and she stood.

“Where is he?”

“In his room.” Rose took off running, with Jade and John following quickly behind.

They reached Dave’s room shortly.

“You three stay out here while I speak with Dave,” Rose said. Jade opened her mouth to protest, but closed it at the look on Rose’s face. Rose entered the room.

Dave was huddled up on his bed, sobbing. Rose sat down and wrapped her arms around him. He buried his face in her shoulder. They sat like that until Dave’s sobs subsided and became hiccups. He sat up and wiped off his face. 

“I suppose you want to know what happened,” he said.

“If you feel up to telling me.” Dave sighed.

“He just looks so much like Bro.”

“And you miss him?” Dave laughed.

“No, that’s not it.”

“Then what?”

“It’s nothing I’m just being stupid.”

“I’m pretty sure it’s not nothing.” Rose’s voice softened. “Did he hurt you?”

“No, y’see, that’s the thing, dude never laid a hand on me outside of strifing. Even when I did get banged up he always patched me up. Always. He taught me how to be a Strider. Guess I forgot how.”

“Dave, your worth as a person is not determined by how good of a ‘Strider’ you are.”

“You sure about that?” Rose frowned.

“Why are you afraid of him then?”

“I’m not afraid of him.”

“Then why, when he speaks to you alone for the first time in months, did you panic?” Dave was silent. “You mentioned strifing. Tell me about that.”

“Look Rose, I know you fancy yourself a therapist but I really don’t need this.”

“I’m sorry if I came off in that way, I assure you I only ask out of concern. I care about you Dave, you’re my brother. So, tell me about the strifing.”

“Everybody fights with their guardians, it’s not a big deal.”

“Yes, well most people’s guardians aren’t holding swords.”

“He was just teaching me to protect myself.” Dave’s voice lacked conviction.

“But he hit you.”

“Only when I was too slow to block him. And he always bandaged me up afterwords.”

“That hardly exuses his actions.”

“He never meant to hurt me. He loved me, I know he did.”

“Did he ever say it?”

“What?”

“Did he ever say that he loved you?”

“Well, not in so many words, but he never had to. That’s not what Striders do.”

“I don’t think being a Strider is perhaps the healthiest thing to be.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“He abused you Dave. Physially and probably emotionally as well. You don’t owe him anything.” Dave looked like Rose had smacked him.

“He didn’t abuse me, Rose!”

“Then what do you call it? What do you call it when he’s hurting you with a sword? When he’s brainwashing you into hiding all of your emotions? What do you call it when you can’t even face his memory without fear? Because I call it abuse.”

“It doesn’t really count though…” Dave trailed off.

“Of course it counts. You got hurt, and that matters. You matter.”

“So what happens now?”

“What do you want to have happen?”

“I don’t think I can handle being around Dirk right now.”

“Then I’ll keep him away from you. Anything else?”

“Don’t tell anyone else about this, please.”

“I promise. Your secret is safe with me. I would, however, recommend seeing someone about this.”

“I don’t need a shrink.”

“Not need, perhaps, but it can help to talk about things.”

“Yeah, sure, whatever.”

“I’m going to go talk to Dirk now, you take your time and come out when you’re ready.” Rose exited the room. Outside, Jade, John, and Dirk were waiting.

“What was it?” Jade asked worriedly.

“Just a panic attack, they run in our family.”

“Yeah, Roxy gets ‘em too,” added Dirk.

“As for you, mister Strider, you are to stay as far away from Dave as you possibly can.”

“What? Why? I didn’t do anything.”  
“I’m sure you didn’t, but your presence seems to have triggered this attack and we would like to avoid further instances.”

“You can’t just forbid me from seeing him!”

“Let me rephrase, if you go anywhere near him, I will fucking kill you.”

“Rose!” John gaped at her.

“Now leave,” said Rose. “I need to speak to John and Jade.”

“What the fu-”

“Leave.” Dirk and Rose glared at each other for a moment before Dirk turned around and walked off.

“What the fuck was that about?” asked John.

“Dave has asked me not to tell you the specifics, but being around Dirk brings up certain unpleasant memories that he would like to forget.”

“Memories? Like of Bro?” Jade furrowed her brow.

“He asked me not to say. And it would be best if the two of you would refrain for mentioning this incident to anyone else.”

“Of course,” John said. Jade nodded in agreement.

“But will he be okay?” she asked.

“Yes, he will be fine. He’s just going to need a little time to recover. Panic attacks can be quite frightening. He will come out of his room when he’s ready.”

“So what do we do?” asked John.

“Treat him like you normally would, and don’t mention Dirk or Bro. Now let’s head back to the lounge and give him his space.” Rose placed a hand on each of their backs and guided them away from Dave’s room. Jade glanced back over her shoulder, but said nothing.

***

“You avoid him too.” Dave sat down on the couch where Jake was reading.

“I’m sorry, avoid whom?” Jake set his book down.

“Dirk. You avoid him.”

“Yes, well, breakups can be messy. It’s true I don’t find my self overwhelmed witha desire to speak with him these days.”

“Is that it? Just breakup stuff?” Dave sounded disappointed.

“Why do you ask?”

“I was just trying to see…” Dave stared into space for a few seconds. “Nevermind, it’s probably nothing.”

“Wait a second chap, what were you trying to figure out?”

“I just wanted to see if he really was like my Bro. If he acted the same way.”

“Well, what did your bro act like?”

“I was just wondering, did he ever… did he ever, y’know, hurt you?” Jake was taken aback.

“Well, of course not. He never layed a hand on me. What makes you think he would?”

“It’s nothing. But did he ever hurt you, like, not physically?” Jake blinked hard.

“Well, I suppose he had a bit of a temper…”

“And he said things that hurt didn’t he. Made you feel like it was your fault, right?”

“I guess so. What are you getting at?”

“It’s just, that’s how Bro used to talk to me. He always made everything my fault. Said I wasn’t acting like a Strider should. I thought maybe you’d understand.”

“I think I do. He never told me to act like a Strider, but he did have a habit of yelling at me for not answering his messages. Though I suppose that was probably my fault.”

“Or maybe that’s just what he wants you to think. Maybe it was never really your fault. Maybe none of it was our fault.” Dave looked at Jake imploringly.

“I think perhaps you’re right. He always was very controlling. Perhaps that’s just him, just the way he is.”

“So you don’t think it’s my fault?”

“No, Dave, of course it’s not your fault. If he hurt you that’s his problem, not yours.”

“Thanks dude,” said Dave, straightening up. “Nice to know I’m not the only one he ever fucked with.”

“I suppose it is nice to see I’m not alone. Nobody else really gets it. I mean, Roxy and Jane are trying but they don’t quite understand.”

“Yeah, I know that feeling. Karkat keeps insisting that I should spend more time with Dirk. Keeps pulling the whole ‘family’ schtick. Anyways I’m gonna go, it was nice chatting with you.”

“Yes, I feel the same. Goodbye.”

“Bye.”


End file.
